Léon's Wedding

It was a wonderful day. Martine came over to mine beforehand and we got dressed together, then went to find a taxi. People were beeping and shouting to us in the streets saying that we looked good. As Martine said, "We couldn't have been more noticeable if we were naked." Two muzungus wandering about in traditional Rwandese dress caused quite a stir, but all very complimentary. One woman slowed down as she drove past, rolled down her window, and gave us the thumbs-up. It's a huge compliment and people like to tell you when you're looking smart.

 

Me and Martine in our mushananas at Léon's wedding, above.

The official part of the wedding was held in a church in Kigali. Léon and his bride, Janine, were beautifully dressed. The ceremony was in Kinyarwanda, but someone kindly translated into English for Martine and myself.

Léon & Janine

Afterwards, they went to the Wedding Roundabout in town, which is the traditional venue for couples to have their wedding photographs taken. All of the guests walked to the reception hall. When the couple finally arrived, everyone stood and cheered to welcome them.

There was a six-tier cake stand and, after the couple cut the cake, they fed each other a little bit before passing cake out to all of the guests. Then the entire wedding party: groom, bride, maids and family, sang to the guests. It was a really beautiful song about what a happy day it was and how lucky the groom was to have such a beautiful bride.

Afterwards we had the speeches, including two wise men whose job it is to assist good communications between the families. Then it was time for guest speeches. These included Augustin, my boss and Léon's elder brother, and... myself!

Augustin pulled me aside just before the couple returned from photos. He asked me to make a speech! There were about 200 people in the hall! I was a little flabbergasted to be asked, but it was a real honour and I was proud to contribute to their big day. When my turn came I had a guy next to me translating into Kinyarwanda. I received a massive round of applause at the end.

It was a brilliant day. Martine and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

I returned back to work on Monday and, unfortunately, things went a little downhill from there. I discovered that my boss had cancelled the IT training whilst I was away, saying they should wait for me to return. However, the room had already been paid for in advance, so that was FRW 75,000/£75 down the drain. Never mind, not the end of the world, but a bit exasperating on the first day back.

It's now been ten days since I returned from Kampala and D still hasn't followed me. He's somewhere out there in the ether, using up the last of the holiday money on renewing some 'papers' - which I take to mean either travel or work documents. Basically, he's done an E on me. At first we texted and called each night, he's telling me he misses me and can't wait to be home, but I've come to the end of my tether now and just don't answer. "When will you be back?" - "Soon." And we all know what that means in African time. I just can't be doing with it anymore. I'm the girlfriend of an invisible man. I've become quite close to Rose recently, too. She's E's ex-wife, the lady who made my mushanana. Even she said that D's persistent absence was a little weird, African maleness accepted. It was interesting to hear that from her as she's known D for years and, being Ugandan herself, she knows what's normal.

Since E abandoned his family, Rose has been bringing up their two kids on her own. One girl aged three years, and one baby boy of about five months. There's no income as unemployment is rife. My last dress order paid her rent this month (£30) and her girl can't start school because she hasn't made the fees yet. £10 per term, three terms a year. Rwanda has no welfare system. If you don't have any money you don't eat.

I really feel for Rose, and I like her as a person. She's a very strong woman. We've started talking about setting up an NGO for single parents. She says there's a lot of them in Kigali with no support; all in the same situation. I know one of my Deaf colleagues whose wife left him (for being Deaf) with their baby daughter. He isn’t employed, so he had to leave his daughter to be brought up by family three hours away. Heartbreaking. There’s a definite need for a support system as none currently exists.

We're in the process of looking up how to register an NGO with MINALOC, but it's not easy. Any support people would like to give would be hugely appreciated. I was going to help D and his friend Morris set up a Ugandan kid's NGO but, at present, I'm not convinced they could organise their way out of a paper bag. Rose is both driven and smart, she's even learned Kinyarwanda in the three years she's been living here. She'd be a brilliant spokesperson and the need is very real.

Watch this space.

Last night I went to Hannah's leaving do at the Ethiopian restaurant. It was a really good night - tons of food. Alicia's also leaving. Loads of people cutting their placements short. It's starting to feel a bit quiet around here. Ginette and Viv have also gone home early - four people this month.

In an ironic tale of lizard's revenge, Sula brought in a different type of lizard the other day and set about eating it. Ten minutes later, she projectile vomited the most impressive lump of bright-orange foam you've ever seen. Having just watched this, Mao then wanders over and starts tucking into the remainder! Within seconds he vomits too. They both look at each other, then start eating the vomit! At this point I couldn't take anymore and went to get a cloth... cats are remarkably stupid.

On a final note, I came across someone else's blog of life in Rwanda recently and it's a really good one. You might like to have a nose.