Moto Rage

What a really, really weird end to the night.

Just got back from gnocchi and diavolo sauce at Papyrus in Kimihurura with Cathryn and Kirsty. Took a moto to my gate and, just as I was about to pay, the guy looks a bit panicked and starts driving off.

Coming towards us down my street (which is a dead-end, so he has to go out the way he came in) is another moto, which blocks him off. The passenger of that moto leaps off and throws my moto driver, complete with moto, down the drive and into my next door neighbour's gate!

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

So, I spend the next twenty minutes listening to the arguments of the two moto drivers with my neighbours, in Kinyarwanda, and surprisingly understanding quite a bit of it. Funny how your language improves when you feel it's something you really ought to understand and nobody is going to help you out.

Turns out that not having a driving licence - which was the issue - was justification for GBH. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Bunch of men playing vigilante cops.

Fine way to end an otherwise lovely evening.

Last night was Cathryn's birthday, which we spent at Sundown, a bar I'd never been to, also in Kimihurura. I passed it for the first time on Friday when I went to an Umbrella meeting at the FENAPH offices. The meeting place was so hard to find (half an hour going round in circles on the back of a moto with absolutely no signposts) that when I passed that bar it was like a vision, I knew I'd never forget where it was. Little did I know the next night I'd be drinking in there.

It's a really lovely place and it was a great night, though I was completely the worse for wear. Primus, then the Waragi train (which has only one destination - pain!), then coke and whisky. Loads of people there, though. Much fun was had, and I got a lift back to civilisation with friends in a car with beer all over the back seat, so I had to blow-dry my arse on a moto home.

Things are good. Still no departure date. Why ask us to request tickets two months in advance if you leave it so long to purchase them? Strange system. Is there a system?

But I'm ready now. I feel like I'm done, though it's gutting to miss Giudi & Maxime's wedding.

Anyway, hot chocolate and an early night. Hope the moto guy survived. I felt a bit funny about leaving. I paid him, and my neighbours are really nice people and I'm sure they'll sort it out. I think they called the police. They know where I am if they need a witness, but I think they were all quite glad when I left. Better off out of it so long as nobody's beating anybody up. It all calmed down.

Hen Night

Had an excellent weekend. We were planning to have a cookie and movie afternoon as Anja has an oven, but Giudi is getting married in November and due to holiday and work commitments this weekend was the only time most of us were in the same place at the same time. We decided to turn it into a hen party instead.

Saturday morning we did a mad dash around Nakumatt and bought loads of goodies, then Anja kept Giudi distracted at Novotel with a manicure and pedicure whilst Cathryn and I took over Anja’s kitchen and made lasagne. We were on an Italian food trip because Giudi partly grew up there. Cathryn did the meat sauce and I did the white sauce, then we made canapés: bite sized bits of spicy sausage, mozzarella, sun-dried tomato and black olive on a stick.

We laid it all out on the table with candles and loads of balloons. Epiphany also joined us, another Canadian volunteer who used to share a house with Giudi when she was a VSO.

We finished up the main course with a run down of Giudi's ex-boyfriends. For each one she brought closure by popping a balloon in their honour.

After the meal came the cherry on top. The partner of the Belgian Consulate is a chocolatier and made the most heavenly to-die-for chocolate mousse cake. Seriously, sexual fantasy on a plate. But before Giudi was allowed any she had to answer ten questions about Maxime, her husband to be. Anja had collected his answers the day before and they ranged from easy - What is his birthday? What’s his favourite colour? - to difficult: What was his most embarrassing story from childhood? She did really well, scoring seven out of ten.

To accompany this, we had several bottles of red wine followed by Champaign.

After the long, leisurely meal, we made waragi (Ugandan War Gin) punch with fruit, and the games began. We’d hidden twelve truth or dare envelopes around the house: behind cushions, in flowerpots, in balloons, under things. For each one she completed, she got a prize.

One was to inflate a condom, and when the dancing later began it turned into a very drunken game: whoever dropped the condom would get pregnant! [NB 2013: We were all avoiding it like the plague!]

Much, much alcohol was consumed and, having started around five, we fell asleep around one-thirty to Dexter. Anja’s got a beautiful big house with spare rooms and bathrooms. It was the perfect, out-of-the-way place to hold it.

The next morning, and feeling rather rough, we watched Rome whilst eating oven-crisped croissants and drinking coffee.

Later, as wedding dress and hairstyle discussions ensued, I made chocolate & coconut cookies and peanut butter ones with M&Ms on top.

It was an excellent party, made all the sweeter by the fact that today, Monday, is a public holiday for Eid. I’ve caught up on loads of sleep – now for movies.

I was just a bit bummed that my tinfoil-wrapped cookie had been infiltrated by ants. Horrid things get all your food.

Had a slightly freaky experience last week. I was at home and often leave the back door open to let air circulate, it’s been hot lately. I walked out of the hall and screamed. Two of next-door’s kids were standing there. I know them, they’re the ones who bombarded me when I first moved in, but they were just standing at the open door staring into my house. I told them that this is my private space and to go. They often like playing hide and seek around my house and it can be a real invasion of privacy. Berlize tried to cover her tracks by walking to the corner and picking up my cup-cup (a thing for cutting grass) as if she’d been sent to get it. I told her that was my cup-cup and she looked sheepish and put it down again. The lack of respect for people’s privacy and property is quite draining sometimes. I did notice that some rubbish had gone, so I wondered if they’d collected that, but they really shouldn’t be because that’s what I pay my guard to do. Hope he isn’t contracting out to kids.

Bumming out big-time on jobs. Had the tantalising waft of a contract in Uganda with Deaf Child International but it wasn’t to be. Should get my flight dates this week. Took the Live Career careers test, it was pointless. Seems to think I should be a writer, do something outdoors, or go into science or the arts. Then at the end it told me to take up healthcare. Total waste of half-an-hour.

Oh well. It’ll aaaall be fiiiine.

Moldy Asparagus

Banking in Rwanda is like pulling a tooth. Slow and very painful.

My love affair with FinaBank has come to an end. After opening the Deaf Association NGO account with them we wanted to do the same for the Single Parents Network. It's a really good scheme which allows free withdrawals, receipt of international transfers, free cheque books and administration. Saves NGOs a fortune.

Only the Committee were having some problems with the form, which was in English. Knowing FinaBank have a Kinyarwanda version I popped in today to get a couple.

After the woman at Customer Services looked at me like I was there to waste her time, she glanced through the files and said:

"We only have English left. Or you could open a business account."

"No, I really want an NGO account please."

"But you speak English."

"But the people who have to fill it out don't."

"Well, we've run out."

"When will you have some more?"

"Oh, soon."

"When?"

"I don't know but I'm sure it will be soon."

"Okay, are there any other branches in Kigali that might have some?"

"There's one in Remera."

"Great, could you please call them and see if they have any NGO forms in Kinya?"

"They won't."

"Why?"

"Well, if we've run out they will too."

"Well, could you phone them and check?"

"I know they won't."

"How?"

....long pause....

Thankfully another chap working on Customer Services came over and the whole conversation began again. Only this time when we got to:

"I think they will not have any."

and I suggested:

"Could you call them to check?"

He actually did. Then made me sit in an office with two other members of staff for twenty minutes whilst he called around. Surely there must be a direct number to Customer Services in Remera?

I was totally fed up by this point. He eventually came back and explained that actually nobody had the Kinyarwanda forms because the translation had been very poor and they were all withdrawn.

"When will you have the new ones?"

"I don't know. I could ask upstairs."

"Well, could I leave my number and you phone me when they come in?"

It was like watching paint dry. An enquiry that should take a couple of minutes draged on for half an hour. You'd think, after two years, I'd be used to it, but unfortunately some days it still gets right on yer t!ts.

So, then I went and sat in BCR (my bank) for another half-hour. Then I went to the joy that is Nakumatt, to buy overpriced food. I found a packet of about a dozen asparagus tips for GBP 1.20 - I assume the mold was free. I couldn't believe it was on the shelf. They were selling two fillets of smoked mackerel for nine quid! So I settled for sugarcane, but it's dried out and sour. I put it in the bin. Sat in the Blues Cafe waiting for the rain to end, though I'm glad it's finally arrived.

Whilst sitting there, I get a text explaining that the landlord of our office has just closed the place down for non-payment of rent. I phoned our accountant and she reckons there's over three-hundred quid from dictionary sales. So, now I'm trying to track down our president to ask why he isn't using that money to pay the rent? That's the whole point - generate an income to sustain the office and the organisation.

Two steps forward, twenty back.

But, on the up-side, last Wednesday we had a very productive workshop led by African Decade. Rwanda has been chosen out of the whole of Africa to be an Ambassador Country for people with disabilities. Should mean some funding for projects and strengthening of infrastructure. All good stuff. Sarah was leading the workshop and she did an outstanding job. Really achieved a lot in terms of strategic planning and project development. They'd also booked Betty to interpret, so I got to participate.

The sign language courses are going well. People are really enthusiastic and Goreth is doing a sterling job, though we had a bit of a methodology conflict to begin with. She was adamant that she would teach signs word-for-word with English, like Signed Supported English, and it's taken until now to change her mind and get her to teach the way Deaf people would sign. She felt it was easier to teach that way and then the Deaf way later, but it was confusing the students a lot. It's ironed out though, and people are learning really well. We've got conversations going on and everything :)

Last Friday was a lovely night. Went to Lalibela Ethiopian restaurant, which I hadn't been to in ages. Me, Cathryn, Giudi, Maxime and Anja. Had a wonderful time, good food, plenty to drink and good company.

I've started prepping myself for my departure next month. Totally blitzed the house, thrown out loads of junk, donated it to the VSO freebie box or given it to Rose to sell. Haven't seen the place this clean since I moved in, so going to mess it up again by cooking later. Haven't done that in ages. Going to make chilli. Now the wet season is here it should last for a couple of days. I started using the make-shift fridge method we learned in pre-departure training: if you put everything in a bowl of water then tuck a tea towel over the top with the edges in the water, as the water evaporates from the tea towel it drops the temperature of the food underneath. Basic, but quite nifty.

Walk the Line

Ah, I'm smitten. Went over to Martine's for brochettes and beer at Panorama last Wednesday night. I was totally shattered after the Marine House capers of the previous post, but needed someone to go and giggle about it with.

Martine's guard Eric currently has a chicken, which Martine has dubbed Erica. She's a cute little hen that takes every opportunity to come into the house and poop on the table :op

Martine lent me some DVDs, one of which being Walk the Line. Knowing absolutely nothing about the life of Johnny Cash, I started off a bit passive. I have a real penchant for 1930s-1950s American guitar-slinging films, it's a genre I do actually rather enjoy, but all I kept thinking was 'country singer, country singer, country singer' so wasn't expecting much.

I was absolutely smitten. What a disgustingly happy ending. And "no darling," with a voice like that, it's enough to make any woman weak at the knees Mr. Phoenix. Watched it about three times now and unwilling to give it back ;)

Also just watched The Visitor which wasn't bad, though it took me at least half the movie before I sat up and shouted "The Brøken" which is where I last saw Richard Jenkins. I hate that, when you spend an entire film trying to work out who that person is and what they were in before. He is very good, though.

Wednesday daytime I went to Nakumatt, our supermarket, and spoke to the manager, who is going to help us sell our sign language dictionaries in the store, which is fantastic news. Treated myself to a meal at Simba to celebrate, but their food has gone distinctly downhill. You order anything with 'bacon' and all you get is a mass of white gelatinous fat. It's inedible.

Whilst I was sitting there, a guy came up and said "Hello Maria!" I thought I must know him as I get called Maria a lot, or Malio ('l' and 'r' are completely interchangeable here). But, no, turns out he's an Egyptian guy who was absolutely convinced I was his friend, an Egyptian woman living in Kigali called Maria. Apparently we have exactly the same hair and eyes, with similar features and name. Spooky. There's another me walking around out there!

Thursday was a long day. Had a working group on the disability census being carried out by African Decade. Was a chance for all the NGOs to give their input on how the process should be undertaken.

Was a good day, but I was interpreting for almost eight hours solid. Pelage, the Deaf representative for FENAPH (National Federation of People with Disabilities) was also there with her interpreter Judith. Because there's never been a standardised sign language before, people have always relied on their friends to interpret, so it's what people are used to. Gerard prefers me to interpret, whereas Pelage, who I don't work with, prefers Judith - so there's both of us interpreting, me from English and her from Kinyarwanda. Was useful a couple of times when I missed the English translation, and she adopted our sign for 'research'. Certainly an experience. Doing the same this coming Wednesday for a workshop on Rwanda becoming an ambassador nation for disability rights.

I still hadn't fully recovered from Tuesday, and by Wednesday night I was just about ready to drop. The guys from NPC gave Sarah and I a lift to Kisi so that I could get a moto. I popped over to see the meow meows. Ishuheri was also there this time, and they'd just been fed so they were far more interested in licking their paws than cuddling me. Got a pouncing eventually though, rough-and-tumble with Shue. Nothing like beating up a cat to end the day on a high. Was fun.

Friday night I was extremely good and lazed in watching trashy 80s stuff like Holleywood Wives: The New Generation, which I still class as 80s even though it was made in 2003 - because, let's face it, it was made dated. It included the recently departed Farrah Fawcett. Also Sins, which despite having my favourite James Bond, Timothy Dalton, is unadulterated trash to the point I haven't made it past the first episode. It's amazing what you'll watch when you have nothing else. Free-with-the-newspaper torture, both of which are like looking through a porthole into an alternative universe: jet-set lifestyle meets Central Africa.

Saturday was a mixture of pleasure and pain. My landlady woke me up shouting my name at 8am. She'd brought a plumber to look at the guard's outhouse. When I finally dragged myself to the front door she said he didn't need access to the house. So I slumped back into my bed wondering why she'd woken me. About an hour later he did need access to the house and spent ages fiddling with water pipes.

It was all a little embarrassing. I have a toilet I haven't been able to flush properly in three months, and at one point he apparently had to put his hand down there *shudder* plus everywhere’s a complete tip as I haven't been able to clean anything with no water - and, as everyone who knows me knows, I'm not exactly the neatest person anyway. Floor filing works for me.

So, when they finally left I took a squidgy mop to the bathrooms and piled all of the clothes I hadn't worn in more than three months into bags. I literally cleared two rooms of crap, phoned my taxi man friend, and took it to Rose's. What I don't wear she can sell. A friend Nidhi also gave me all her clothes she didn't want before leaving the country. I did a little rummage and took a couple of Nidhi's tops. It's a luxury getting new clothes, even new second-hand. But I put plenty of my own in as replacements.

Now the house is much cleaners and I only have clothes that I wear, which is good as it means less to pack when I leave. I've put in my request for flights between 24th-30th October. My visa expires on 4th November, so it has to be before then.

Was totally shattered all Saturday. Could hardly keep my eyes open, which was a total bummer as Holy Jah Doves were playing at BCK in town. Everybody was there as it was Steve's last gig, he left today. He plays the traditional drum with them. Ruairí, Cathryn, Anja, Coco, Programme Amanda, Giudi, Maxime, David, Sandra, Amalia, Charlotte, Kirsty, Nic, Bruce, Sarah, Hugh, Ebbe, Jacob, Martine, Lies - I reckon I knew about 90% of the people there.

Lies, Kirsty, Nic, Cathryn and myself met up at Republika beforehand for drinks. Was a really good night and everyone went mental for their hit Maguru, which they played at the end. It's their signature song and it totally rocks. When they finished, Ebbe and I wandered up the road and got motos home. I was shattered but very happy, danced my li'le heart out.

Recuperating today. Plan on doing as little as possible, watching more trashy films and waiting for my water filter to hurry up and filter some water. I got a duff batch of chalk candles and they take aaaages. It sucks big-time when you're fighting drink-related dehydration.

Still, since the plumber came I have water again! I can't tell you how much this means. Running water is a most amazing luxury and because of the dry season and the fact I showered late today, it was pretty much warm. Double luxury: warm running water. So far, a good day :)

However, I do need to drink less, smoke less, sleep more and eat better. The past week or so has been a heavy burn on the body. Think I might watch Walk the Line again.

[NB 2013: Pictures of the Holy Jah Doves gig here.]

Kenny's Gonna Kill Me

Oh this is going to be a post of soaring highs and drop-dead lows.

Let's start with the up ;)

The first ever trial run of the Foundation Curriculum in Rwandan Sign Language began Monday evening, 5:30-7:30 at the VSO Programme Office.

It went absolutely swimmingly. Better than expected. Goreth is an excellent teacher and we had about eight or nine students from amongst the VSO vols and staff.

I'm totally in awe. It's a really weird feeling, seeing this document that Goreth and I wrote a couple of months back suddenly being used to train people. It's wonderful to see it working, and so much positive feedback from the participants.

It's also an outstanding feeling to see money going into the pockets of Deaf people in the form of tuition fees. The potential for income generation is really good and it'll provide a secure income for so many people who would otherwise be overlooked by the job market.

It's also benefiting the Deaf Association in the form of examination fees and dictionary sales so helping them to move away from aid dependency and stand on their own two feet - woop woop!

I think I feel even more proud of this than the dictionary. Of course you couldn't do this without a dictionary, but I feel more personally attached to this part of the project. I was learning before and felt everything would probably have been completed even if I wasn't there, but with the curriculum I know I brought some real expertise to the situation and made a tangible, personal contribution. If, in a few years time, Rwanda starts training sign language interpreters, it'll be because they all started with this Foundation course that Goreth and I wrote. That's an amazing feeling.

That's one thing I've really discovered during my time here - I have a lust for helping people to make money. Say what you like about capitalism, but often it's the fastest way to get a community out of poverty, off aid dependency, and into secure livelihoods. I really like those sort of systems.

Just need to find a job and some money myself now ;)

I've also helped re-budget for the Charlotte Wilson Memorial Fund who are giving us some money to bring 20 Deaf people from around the country to Kigali to train them in teaching the curriculum so that they can set up courses in their local areas. Should be getting that in the next few weeks and, thanks to Fina Bank's free NGO accounts, we shouldn't lose any of it in bank fees. Major thumbs-up there Fina Bank, and your business customer service people rock, so friendly :)

So, that was the hugely positive side to the week.

The not-so-positive has been Rose's situation. My friend and co-founder of the Single Parent's Network. She had a very difficult job situation a while back where her employer had her working twelve-hour days seven days a week. No time off: cook, domestic, nanny. Rose has two young children of her own and needed time to be with them. Whilst she works, her house girl, Pacific, looks after the two children as she is also a single mother with a young daughter herself.

The situation was not good and eventually she lost the job because she'd taken time to go to Uganda to re-bury her mother, and later needed a couple of days off when she fell ill.

A few days before I left for the UK I got a phone call from her, very upset, panicking. The problem being that I've helped out where I could in the past financially, but I'm at the end of my placement. I don't have any money, and I don't have a job lined up, so the little I do have I'm going to need when I get back to the UK. The best I could do was take her some books and clothes to sell, which would make her enough to buy food at least.

By the time I got back to Rwanda she'd found another job, working as a nanny again for the same money, but this time with weekends off. Win. Only, two days ago I get a phone call, she's in a terrible state, the guy she was working for accused her and two other house girls of taking money and sacked them all without pay. So the month she had been working, she has not been paid the FRW 80,000/GBP 80 she's owed. Firstly, I believe Rose is very honest and trustworthy, she has always kept good accounts for the Single Parent's Network. Secondly, I don't think the man had any evidence, otherwise he wouldn’t have sacked all three and he would have gone to the police.

Rose refuses to go to the police to raise the matter even though I said I'd go with her as a character reference, because she thinks they'll believe him as she is originally Ugandan, not local.

There seems to be very little she can do about it, such is the employment situation for many here, and I cannot afford to give her FRW 80,000 for the lost month.

Before I left for the UK we were discussing a business plan she had for importing clothes from Uganda to sell in Rwanda. It's quite a lucrative market as the exchange rate means you can buy a lot of good quality stuff in Kampala for a few shillings, then sell it at double or triple its value in Kigali. The bus costs around GBP 8 each way.

If she was self-employed she'd be in control of her own income, doing something she loves doing (she has a diploma in fashion design) and then she'd be able to put her kids through a better school and work the hours she needs to.

So, the plan is I'm going to meet up with her this week and take her to Urwego Bank, who offer microfinance loans. I think she'd be a prime candidate.

She's just really low at the moment and it's hard to know what to do. Money solves most things, but it needs to be used sustainably - i.e. to set up a business - otherwise it runs out.

So, that isn't so good.

Finally. Can one die of embarrassment?

I think I probably could.

I went out last night to the American Embassy's Ladies' Night at the Marine House. The alcohol is so cheap you could very easily get as drunk as I did. FRW 500/GBP 50p for a Mutzig and 1,000/GBP 1 for a glass of wine! Ladies get all their drinks half-price, see. Though I certainly ain't no lady.

Finished about midnight, was a lot of fun: Programme Amanda, Sarah, Amy, Els, Amalia, Charlotte, lots of Peace Corps, Hugh, Cathryn - much fun was had.

Ran into a guy I met ages ago at someone's leaving do. He's 6ft something, hunky, grew up in Burundi, uni in America, and now has a very nice job with a big company and a big car.

He ended up driving me home and, after the last issue of having to step over my guard with Baudouin, plus the terrible water situation, we started getting steamy in the car.

I live down a mud road in the back end of beyond. At 1:30 in the morning it's usually completely deserted. So, imagine my horrified surprise to glance out the window and realise I was starring in my own teen slasher movie a decade too late!

A man in a huge, dark Parker with the hood pulled shut like Kenny from South Park, two foot from the car. All the guy needed was a machete and it could have been Urban Legend. You know that whole killing lovers in a car thing - that was based on a real person: the Zodiac Killer.

Then another guy appears at the other window, just staring in.

Ooookay.

So we back out and head up the road to a deserted car park. Nobody around. Start making out and - OMG! There's somebody standing by the window!

I was more than a little perturbed by this point. Was like Night of the Living Dead. So we once again move further up the hill to a parking area. I'm finding it a little hard to get in the mood.

He says it was just the local security guys and that they probably wouldn't have recognised me. Ermn, hellooo - I glow in the dark. Little hard to miss.

It was funny and disturbing all at the same time. There's a guy and a girl clearly having some private time so you do your very best to scare the crap out of them. You know, there are internet movie sites for things like that people! Mind you, with MTN's download speed it's probably left a nation in frustration.

Deary me.

So to feign innocence he dropped me off at the petrol station down the road and I took a moto home lol I do feel rather ashamed, lowering the tone of the neighbourhood. This is the third bloke I've brought home since I moved in. I think my guard's a little confused. But what's a gal to do? Trials and tribulations of the heart... *wistful sigh*

Right, I'm off to Nakumatt today to see if I can get them to stock our dictionary. Big conference on the Disability Census tomorrow, then all quite quiet again until the funding comes in. I'm at a loss what to do with myself since I finished my book. Could start another I suppose, but going to get this one proofed and opinioned first.

Weather's been soooo hot since I got back. Every road is like walking down a powderpuff and my bread's turned to toast. Desperate for some rain, roll on the wet season!