Chrono-What?

USA Computers

*** THE LONGEST POST YOU MAY EVER READ ***

Ah, sod it. I was going to do an in-depth catch up but left my notes in the office and realised chronology ain't all it's cracked up to be. So, this is a directionless, mumbling ramble of the past couple of weeks in no particular order or priority of relevance.

The Foot

Nope. The foot is still nay too clever. There is still a significant hole in the sole, which is draining on the soul. It is definitely on the mend but extremely bahoro bahoro. I am still having to (look away now if squeamish) rip the gauze off it when I change the dressing each day. It makes me feel faintly ill to look at, or think about, it for any length of time...

...Oh, but the joys of chronology! I didn't explain why, in detail, it makes me feel so ill.

Well, see, Sunday, after the ball and rugby, it was hurting no end. On close examination, I noticed a horrible sort of grey jelly oozing from a crack in the scab. It smelled rather strongly of cheese. Oh my, thought I, that doesn't look so good...

Monday morning I decided that, after probably outstaying my welcome at King Faisal, and with absolutely no intention of going to the letchy Polyclinique du Plateau, I'd give the one other medical provider available to us a spin: the Belgian Doctor.

An outstanding practitioner of medicine who doesn't believe in pain killers.

There's me, lying on the bench in the clinic behind the Belgian Embassy, flat on my stomach, foot in the air, expecting a little prodding and poking, tutting and frowning. Yes, I got all of that. Then, without warning (probably not such a bad thing) or anaesthetic, he took tweezers in hand, caught the edge of the scab and ripped - yes, ripped - the entire scab off my foot!!! It took two yanks and I SCREAMED like a girl. Believe me, the waiting room was full when I entered, it was empty when I left.

Technically, it's what they should have done at King Faisal, but didn't because I was in so much pain. He had the nerve to do it - no faffing about - but oooh boy. *shudder*

Then he covered it in iodine-type stuff, wrapped it all up in a nice big bandage, and sent me on my way with antibiotics, clean dressing, and instructions to be 'very careful'. I felt ill the entire way home. Although home was via the bank, computer shop, and half-a-dozen other places. I hired a moto for the morning, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to hobble very far.

So, yeah. Had to go back for a check-up the next day, and again a couple of days later. I've got another one on Friday which will have been a week since the last check-up. Hats-off to the guy, tough. Lots of love and all that. It's finally starting to get smaller and heal up. It still hurts like a bugger, though. the doctor suggested I try walking on it flat, but when I do the gauze gets stuck even more. Ripping it off each day probably doesn't give it space to settle.

He also keeps writing me prescriptions for things I can't get. Like trying to track down Cathryn's home malaria test-kit. First it was antiseptic cream, then bandage tape. I went to five pharmacies and none of them stocked either *sigh*

Anyway, enough about the foot.

The AGM

On Friday, RNAD held their AGM (Annual General Meeting) for the first time in two years. It really wasn't bad at all. Considering that they'd arranged it all to the letter of Rwandan planning (half a day's notice) it worked out very well.

Despite the usual technical projector/electricity issues, and a very late start, it all went more-or-less according to plan. Lies from Handicap International was there, Amanda and Emillienne too, Dr. Evariste from KIE, a lovely guy called Cris from MINALOC who runs the social welfare policy working group, and our FENAPH representative - full house! Although we did forget to invite HDR where Karen used to work, which was a shame. Good turn-out, although most of the members were the same faces from the office, who already knew the spiel on Deaf rites. This was also a shame as it could have been a real opportunity to reach more Deaf members and more NGO representatives if it had been allowed more than a fortnight of preparation.

However, much was done, and RNAD are now changing their name to: Rwandan National Union of the Deaf (RNUD) because, since FENAPH (national representative committee of disability groups) came about, we're not allowed to say that we 'represent' Deaf or disabled people. Only FENAPH representatives can claim that. We're not allowed to call ourselves an Associations anymore, either. The joys of bureaucracy. This also means changing the web address sometime I guess. Pants.

The highlight, I thought, was a drama presentation at the end, given by about ten of the members on Inclusive Education. It was about a twenty-minute signed performance (with translation) and it was brilliant. They really have a huge talent for drama and comedy.

The Sign Language Dictionary

The presentation of the dictionary was good. Although Safari, the publisher, really hadn't made half the corrections I gave him. Despite correcting the same English three times, he still went with the mistakes. I dare not look in case there is still a sign for 'Flying Pan'. He appears also to have been completely disbelieving in the possibility that there could ever be two Amandas, so Amanda First's name (the VSO who helped with the English translation) has been replaced with Crookes, my Programme Manager. But, there you go. Like a long sweated-over essay, I just refuse to even glance at it again. I can't bear to see the mistakes. Although, with all credit, the fact that the book exists at all is outstanding. Despite the dodgy English it's a phenomenal achievement and very well put together. And, we must always remember, it's only the 1st draft!

An argument almost broke out half-way through the AGM when Father Murenzi and Dr. Evariste tried to suggest that another two sign language manuals were already in progress. Actually, they said that one had already been published. Then they started spouting that 'countries have many sign languages and we needed many dictionaries to document them in Rwanda.' I attempted to explain the concept of regional dialect. I am now working on a paper to put on the table for debate, explaining some areas of Sign Language Linguistics, and also about Deaf people's ownership of sign language, pointing out (as Australian scholars have fittingly put it) the dangers of linguistic imperialism. One suggestion is currently that gaps in our dictionary should be filled with signs from a school in Kigali. This suggestion means that - after nation-wide Deaf consensus on which standardised signs from the regional collective research should be put into the dictionary - any missing vocabulary should be inputted with signs made up by a bunch of hearing nuns in a school in the capital city. Alarm bells!

Grittily, something to get my teeth into at last. Also writing the Internal Policies & Procedures Manual, a brief proposal for the Charlotte Wilson Memorial Fund (a VSO shot in Burundi in 2000) for a curriculum development project, and trying to organise a student from Butare to come and train Deaf Awareness trainers. So, at last, stuff to do! :)

The Computer

This is a topic I don't want to talk about. I'm still extremely angry. But I shall anyway.

Feckin' USA Computers (behind the mosque in town). I'm absolutely incandescent with annoyance. Thought Ali had done me a favour when he sold me a cheap laptop after Sula wet my last one.

But just one loooong comedy of errors.

My old laptop was running Vista, so I asked for it on this one, only they installed Vista operating system but only 2003 office suite.... uuuh...

Anyway, downloaded all the file converters and everything. Then, Sunday, after rugby, when I just wanted to chill-out and relax, I turned on the computer and Vista had recognised that it was a dodgy copy and locked me out of absolutely everything with the exception of the internet connection. This was on a half-hour automatic shut-down to allow me to download a genuine product key or some such, which I was trying to do but wasn't proving so easy. Anyway, I gave up with a sigh and took it in to Ali on Monday after getting my foot shredded at the doctor's.

When they transferred my original hard drive over to the new laptop, Bosco, the guy doing all this at the shop, managed to lose/wipe/whatever all of my photographs. This didn't matter so much as I had them all online anyway.

This time, after an entire weekend and FRW 15,000 for the privilege (!!!) I got the laptop back with XP - fine - but missing all of my music, all of my internet favourites, a working DVD drive and... this is the part I wept over - my feckin' modem!!!???

I had put the modem in the bag in case they needed to connect to the internet to download something, since it was the only thing on Vista working. It must have slid out of the bag in the shop. It was there when I delivered it and not when I picked it up. The bag hadn't been opened en route.

My modem!!

But, oh no, complete denial of it being in there - nobody saw it - not getting it back.

I was incensed when I got home and realised that, far from restoring my pictures and operating system, they had wiped every other form of entertainment possible: films, music, internet...

I was doubly p!ssed off because I'd just put FRW 20,000 internet time on it as well.

Soooooooooo. I took it back with my not-happy face on. Apologies but, of course, not enough to return the FRW 15,000. Paying for them to destroy the computer. They promised, as people always do here, that they would fix it.

When I finally got it back 'fixed': still no music, still no pictures. Though the guy insisted that they were now there. No, that is D's file that has always been there, never went missing - that is not what you lost.

When I asked about the DVD player, Ali told me it works fine. It's my DVD that was bad. I knew he was talking total bollox. 'Why,' I asked, 'did it play all of my DVDs at home perfectly under Vista and now it doesn't play any?' - 'No, it's just that DVD you brought with you.' Total twonk. As proved when I eventually got home, the error message says it needs a DVD decoder (a region issue perhaps?) which requires downloading, which I tried but - as I'll get to - MTN are so unutterably pants there's not a chance of that happening this side of hell freezing over.

I just gave up.

I picked up the laptop and went straight to MTN. It was a tough decision but, now I live in the middle of nowhere and don't have any friends (20% of the last intake have already gone home early!), I decided I couldn't cope without internet.

I gave it to the woman at MTN in town. She installed the software, then told me FRW 86,000, though the advert said 65,000! Hidden cost of a SIM card and set-up, why can't people just be honest?? I went to the bank to get the money.

I sat in BCR for about an hour-and-a-quarter and there were still over 50 people in front of me. I knew I'd never get served before the shops closed, so I limped up to the service desk and put on my nicest smile. I was directed to a VIP lounge upstairs. In and out in under ten minutes. Disgusting abuse of skin colour? Some days you just gotta flaunt it.

Then I got back to MTN and the woman was serving another customer. No worries. I sat down. Forty-five minutes later she's still with this same customer, yet she had time to talk to a man who walked up to the desk and enquired about number changes. I was getting a bit peeved. All I wanted to do was to give the woman 86,000 francs, take the modem and go home.

The insulting part was that she was the singular person sitting in 'Business Solutions' (the solution being: don't touch MTN with a barge pole) and yet there were, unusually, five desks of staff in the adjoining room with absolutely nobody to serve.

Eventually, I broke. I walked up and asked if I could pay for the modem. She looked at me like I was some kind of freak life form and said 'I am serving this customer, take a seat.' I explained that I had been sitting there waiting to give her money for almost an hour and asked whether I could pay at one of the other desks because I wanted to leave now. She said I had left the shop (to go to the bank) and to sit down. Literally, an order.

I told her to give me my laptop, I was going to Rwandatel instead. Again, she ordered me to sit down! I very directly told her to give me back my computer. Then I left.

Apparently, in a recent survey, Rwanda came rock bottom for customer service. Not just in East Africa, but the whole of Africa. I think they should be thankful the survey stopped at just one continent.

I did indeed go to check out Rwandatel, but their prices are laughable. I asked 'why are you so much more expensive than MTN?' The woman said 'because our connection is much faster.' As suspected, Cathryn confirmed she's cancelling her Rwandatel internet contract because there has been no internet connection for almost two months. Faster they may be, only you can't connect to find out.

So, trying to think smart, I headed to the MTN centre in Nyarutarama. I walked straight in, big smiles, lovely people, nobody waiting, straight up to the counter, straight through the procedure - here's the modem, here's the money - done.

Absolute thumbs-up MTN Nyarutarama. Ten out of ten. I have no idea why I didn't go there in the first place. I guess it was just because I was already in town.

Decided to celebrate with sesame ice-cream and a marakuja juice at the Bourbon upstairs. Called Cathryn, who joined me, and bumped into Nidhi.

Opened the laptop... no power cable.

USA Computers. The leading name in lost soft and hardware...

So, I finished up at Bourbon and dashed back into town to get the power cable.

Went home and spent an absolutely blissful evening surfing the net. The money was more than worth it. Although MTN's connection problems seem to be getting worse not better. At the moment it's disconnecting every five to ten minutes. Oh well.

The House

The house is doing well. The guard is trying his luck. It took me four days to find him to ask him to do some washing. When I finally did, and he finally did, he tried to ask 2,000 francs for the privilege!!! I agreed 1,000 as it was a lot of washing, but I need to find myself a domestique. He's also walked off with the cat litter tray (!) and a coffee mug.

Certain things need attention. There's an electric plug that, although working, is hanging out of the wall. The drain is blocked in the bathroom, the sink leaks, and my bedroom door handle is falling off - but otherwise quite homey. My mosquito net fell down last night, resulting in me putting a stool on the mattress and wobbling like a surfer to hammer it back into the ceiling. Great sense of satisfaction and relief when all was done. Cut foot, broken neck - perfect end to the month ;)

The cats have settled in really well, although they seem to have made a friend who walked in one night. It meows louder than either of mine and is so persistent that I'm starting to wonder if its plaintive pleas are indicative of abandonment - did it once live here? It looks well enough fed not to be starving. Sad thought though, especially as I shall one day have to re-home my babies. May they fall on softer times.

Ruairí came to stay last Friday and Saturday to attend a leaving do at SoleLuna for Ivana and Suzanne, two of the Disability volunteers from the last intake. Ivana was a two-year placement, and I think Suzanne was one. Both lasted seven months. Ah, well.

Ruairí was my first and only guest to the new house so far. It was really nice to have someone here. We sat out on the porch Friday night for hours talking about movies and books whilst watching shooting stars (err, or bits of crashed satellite?) falling out of the sky. (Ruairí! If you are still reading by this point - Natalie Portman! That was the name.)

Can you still wish upon a shooting star if it's a piece of satellite? According to Kirsty MacColl, that's wrong. Go on - name that song ;)

He also confirmed my suspicion that there's been another earthquake a week or so ago. It woke me up early morning but nobody else seemed to have felt it. Ruairí did because he was in school at the time. Wasn't as severe as last year, but tremors have continued since Bukavu. Vols who were here up to two years before that said they'd felt quakes. Must be a hotspot.

On the whole, I like it in Gikondo. People are friendly, although I got mobbed by li'le kids one day trying to open my gate: 'muzungu! muzungu! muzungu!' I said hello and they chatted away, surprisingly in very good English. They were quite nice really and left me at the gate.

The worst are the college students down the road. I stood waiting for a moto by the curb the other day and twenty of them surrounded me just to stare silently. It was quite intimidating. I tried to ask them to move on, saying it wasn't polite, and doing impressions of them staring at me, which just freaked them out a bit and made them stare more. Since then, if Theobard (my moto driver) isn't working and I have to walk to get a moto, I don't go further than the end of my road and wait there. One generally comes along eventually, but the people on my road sort of know me now and just say 'hello'. There's not so many strangers or gangs of yoof. If you're feeling even slightly fragile, being surrounded like a freak show can really tip you over the edge. The limp and bandaged foot earns me stares everywhere: a broken muzungu! Martine and others have noticed that when they walk with me I become the centre of attention. Thankfully, I've managed to completely blank that out. I don't even notice people staring when I'm walking. It's just if I'm standing still and people gang up on me that I tend to frazzle a bit.

But, anyway. Theobard has been an absolute blessing, though it's costing me a fortune taking all these motos everywhere. It's just until my foot is better I say - although it's really not easy to get anywhere except town from here by bus. Having an office that doesn't mind me working from home so much is a blessing, I'd be bankrupt if I had to go in every day.

This 'n' That

So, round-up time really. I've drivelled on for far too long. Guess just a few last bits and bobs:

Two weddings ahead :)

Lies and Kassim are getting married on 16th May and having the reception at New Cactus, one of my favourite restaurants! Huzzah!

Giudi and Maxime are also tying the knot, but not until November when I am likely to be gone. Wonderful couple and, who knows, might make it back if I'm employed by then.

Not following the happy trend, the couple I hosted last year on their honeymoon have split up. He turned out to be a bit of a con man! Took her for a lot of money on the honeymoon whilst meeting up with other women and having a string of internet, CouchSurfing, and real-life affairs! Even touting for women via the internet whilst here! All solidarity to her though, she's doing very well despite the shock and attempting to get the money back via the divorce courts. Just goes to show: you never can tell.

So, that's about it I guess. Lots of smaller bits and pieces going on here and there but nothing massive, sure I'll weave them into my future posts if you've not gone blind already from reading.

Love, light and lithium x

PS – if you’re a glutton for punishment and want something further amusing to read, check out Ruairí’s post on statistics – it’s extremely funny :op