Rose Ceremony

At the Tailor's

We went to the second tailor today and got my purple wrap-dress. Pretty good but a little big at the top. Nothing a pin won't fix, and for £4 who cares lol

We had to wait for them to finish sewing, so dropped in on Mama Harolda again and she gave me a tie-dye tablecloth set as a gift, made from the ones she made herself. Really kind. I think I'm actually starting to understand Krio a bit better :)

I've just got back from a really special night. It was Llyal's engagement ceremony. Well, technically Michael and Cheryl's, as Sierra Leoneans have two names: one used by family (Llyal), and the other used formally (Cheryl).

Hirut persuaded me to dress fully African, which I only did once before for my friend's wedding (unless you count the mushanana experience). This was my skirt and halter-neck I had made from the yellow and red tie-dye. I was a little nervous, but got a whistle of approval from Hirut's dad so stuck with it.

We arrived at the party just as the ceremony was starting, and I was lucky enough to be included!

In Sierra Leone, when a couple get engaged there's a sort of ritual that goes with it.

All the friends of the girl's family gather at her parents' house, where there's plenty of food, drink, and good cheer. The fiancee-to-be hides in the back room and gets dressed up.

Meanwhile, the men of the suitor's family come to knock at the door: his father, his uncles, and so forth.

The men come into the house and explain thus:

"Our son is so upset. The other day he was walking past your garden and there he saw the most beautiful rose he had ever seen in his life. He said no other rose compared to it in beauty - that now he has seen such a flower, he cannot forget it, and he said to us 'please, I must have that rose or I shall not be happy again'. We are here to find such a flower."

Thus begins the game where each female friend and unmarried family member in the house goes forward in turn to be examined by the group of men. Sometimes they are complimentary, sometimes they are extremely cheeky - but it always ends with:

"Alas, this is a very pretty flower, but it is not the most beautiful."

This goes on for some time until, eventually, the veiled bride-to-be comes forward with her mother.

They unveil here. 

"Ah! This is the rose," beam the men.

Then a discussion ensues where the bride's family say:

"Well, we have watered this flower, we have taken care of her and seen her grow all these years. She is very precious to us, why should we give her to you?"

And the man's family have to explain that they, too, keep very good care of their garden, and that when two well-tended and beautiful gardens exist, only more beauty can come of joining them. Why tend them separately?

And, eventually, the woman's side consent and the ring is given along with other presents.

It's extremely sweet. I got dragged up as a flower and told I was a very 'rare breed' (being about the only white person there lol) and that I was a 'big lily', but still given my taxi fare home (which I shoved in the pocket of the person who gave it to me, to much amusement). Hirut was 'jasmine', and a little girl a 'yellow bell'. It was a lot of fun. I was lagging afterwards, and didn't feel like eating, but I did partake of the kola nut. This is a highly respected plant in SL and chewed at celebrations to bestow fertility, so everyone takes a little. It's apparently a mild stimulant, and tastes extremely bitter, with a final aftertaste like the sugar substitute sweetener you put in coffee.

Llyal's dad gave me some very nice American beer, which kept me going, but I've left early with one of the drivers who has malaria and also needs to go home and rest.

We've been taking Malarone since we've been here. It's excellent stuff. Had no side effects, and it's supposed to be very effective - which is good as I don't have a mosquito net.

I'm not feeling so great. Feel like I'm coming down with something, so going to bed to get some kip.