Panda Style

This is a most excellent song played at Tiga’s party. Cathryn and I have been giggling about it ever since. Only now, with MTN Rwanda's crap charges, I can’t watch it. With MTN’s deteriorating service I can now no longer call anyone either. Took me three attempts to send one text message yesterday. I was in a taxi trying to find someone's house and needed directions. I tried to call and had to get out of the car and walk 20 meters up the road to get a signal. Were we in a rural village? No, we were in the middle of Kisimenti!

I’ve had to check my modem SIM card six times in the past two days because I thought I’d run out of credit, but no – it’s MTN Rwanda’s shite and non-existent network. Checking my modem SIM, that’s the process that involves:

1) Unplugging modem
2) Taking SIM out of modem
3) Removing back of phone
4) Removing battery from phone
5) Removing SIM from phone
6) Inserting modem SIM in phone
7) Replacing battery
8) Replacing back of phone
9) Turning phone on
10) Waiting for phone to load
11) Dialling *110# to check credit
12) Seeing that I have credit
13) Feeling p!ssed off at MTN Rwanda for wasting my time
14) Turning phone off
15) Removing back of phone
16) Removing battery from phone
17) Removing modem SIM from phone
18) Replacing phone SIM
19) Replacing battery from phone
20) Replacing back of phone
21) Turning phone on
22) Replacing modem SIM in modem
23) Plugging in modem
24) Waiting for modem to load
25) Attempt to re-connect to the internet

About two out of five times, it also involves the additional aggravating steps of:

26) Wait for mobile to load
27) Go to ‘settings’
28) Go to ‘clock settings’
29) Reset time and date

And for all this hassle you get to pay them double what you used to pay.

MTN Rwanda, you know it, but I’m going to say it again: You. Suck.

And now I can’t even listen to my Panda Style song to cheer me up.

But, what I can listen to are the neighbour's kids, who are all on holiday at the moment and have turned the house into Cadillac night club from around 9:30am – 9:00pm. The foundations actually shake.

Once upon a time I used to ask them to turn it down, but now I just don’t bother. I don’t know the mental process (or complete lack of it) that says ‘she’s annoyed by me playing this crap music at 50 decibels, but I’m sure if I do it again in five minutes time she’ll be fine with it.’

They’re also incapable of talking to each other, and communicate by shouting (over the music) throughout the house and garden. I have no idea how their grandma copes, she’s a really elderly lady who sometimes sits on the porch and says ‘hello’. Maybe they’ve got her locked up in a back room or something. Or maybe the adults have gone on holiday themselves and just thought ‘hell, let the neighbour deal with it, we’re outa here.’

So, between MTN, the neighbours, the water and power cuts… Though, to be fair, I’m coming to appreciate the power cuts because they also take out next door’s stereo system ;)

Oh for the days of council noise control, running hot water, broadband, and active parenting. Whereas it’s great to see a community where it’s so safe little kids can wander around at all hours of the night and day unaccompanied, it’s also great to see a society where parents realise that not every adult wants a six-year-old in their back garden or a gang of pre-pubescents chasing them down the street asking for money. Six and two threes, really.

I suppose the only answer to the problem is to get out of the house and go do some work, banking, dropping of stuff at people’s houses, then try and ease the headache at Bourbon with something caffeinated and iced, and an over-priced sandwich. Thrilling.

My final whinge for the day:

Thumbs-down of the week to Medair. I know they’re not the only ones to do this, but that doesn’t make it right.

They advertise some fantastic jobs, but they can’t seem to see through their prejudice into the land of ‘equal opportunities.’ Requirement for all applicants:

Committed Christians and strong adherence to Medair values

Are we to take it that Medair only values Christians? Are only Christians capable of being relief workers? Are only Christians capable of doing good in a development context? Do the people they help have to be Christian? Interesting that an international charitable organisation can’t cope with employing people from different faiths.

Please, Medair, place your bias at the very top of your job specs so I don’t have to waste my time scrolling down.

So much for ‘one world, one people.’

Right, think that’s about everything on my list to b!tch about. Definitely need that iced coffee now.