Hold the Phone (and the Whole Wedding Thing)

Rwandan Cows

Warra day :op

First off IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! - my phone's been swiped, so you can't phone/text me anymore. When I get a new one, I'll let poeple know.

There's a slim chance I might get it back (got a bunch of big beautiful boys on the case) but I won't hold my breath. It was taken by one of the members. He sat there playing with it and taking pictures. I didn't think much of it as people are always playing with each other's phones and there's not a lot to do in the office. Besides, he was sitting right next to me!

Next thing, I realise he's walked off with it!

I have to say, I was astonished. Not least because I know the guy, and will undoubtedly see him again! - duuuh.... Not the most intelligent theft in the world. My colleagues, bless 'em, have been so lovely about it. I'm sure he's in for a rough time when they catch up with him. Augustin says it's a common problem. He's on his 5th phone, Bob's on his 3rd! I'm certainly not the first volunteer either, Joe had his lifted at a funeral!

Anyhoooo. I was more amused by it than upset. Just vaguely annoyed because Andrew might try and get in touch about going for drinks. I think I'll go into town tomorrow and look at buying another one, then I can swing past the Mille Collines and leave him a note at reception. There can't be too many American Andrews working for the AIDS Centre there.

I had a most entertaining afternoon, though. Had to do a mad break for Peterson's shop about 2pm as I hadn't eaten anything, even breakfast, and was about to pass out. There were no samosas, but this sort of greasy pancake bread Léon first introduced me to. Sounds and looks pretty unappetising. Actually, it's delicious when you're hungry, and dead filling. I scoffed two of them and a cake with a bottle of apple juice. The world came back into focus :op 

I felt a bit stupid, though. I told Peterson I was sooo hungry, and he laughed and kept hold of my hand (you get this with greetings sometimes - people can shake your hand and hold it for an entire conversation) pretty much meaning I didn't know the meaning of hungry. I’d deliberately not used the term 'starving' - but at that moment in time, I was hungry.

All of this sounds like it's panning out to be a bit of a bum day, but it wasn't. I've had a great day.

I had my second (at least) marriage proposal today. This time from a colleague, who is lovely, and undoubtedly meant it. As much as he's a lovely fella, and I like hanging out with him, I've painstakingly explained that the cultural differences between here and Britain wouldn't bode well for our relationship. Also, that I don't never intend having a ring on my finger this side of the apocalypse. For the time being, anyhoo ;) Oh, and another colleague told everyone today that I was marrying him, and that we're just taking it slowly... I've never been so popular!

I like discussing cultural differences regarding marriage here. So do they. It's a matter of great hilarity. For instance, here, I'm worth two cows and some cash in dowry. We had a discussion about what would happen if a Rwandese man married a muzungu woman in England. Would the cultural customs remain? Would he have to give her parents two cows? I asked how they'd get them on the plane? Then said my parents' garden ain't big enough for a cow, and it probably wouldn't please them very much. This raised a laugh. It's quite amazing to people here that we don't have dowries.

I was talking to Paula and Martine the other night about wedding traditions. Alexis was showing me photos of his wedding a while back and explaining the customs. Weddings used to last a week or so but, due to money, they tend to be one or two days now. His was two days. On the second day they have the 'unveiling' ceremony. This is where all the guests gather round. The bride and groom, having consummated the marriage, enter the room. The bride is wearing a veil because she's ashamed/embarrassed at having relations with her husband. Her mother has to come forward to lift the veil and remove the shame.

Men here are more bum-oriented than boob-oriented. I suppose, after nine children, it's the less saggy of the two? Big bums are much prized. Being called 'fat' and told you've gained weight is a compliment. Another interesting custom, not for the faint hearted, is one that another volunteer's Rwandese boyfriend explained one drunken night. An admired trait is apparently large... uh.... flaps. On women. Girls are taught from a young age to pinch them out so that they get larger. Apparently this is why you sometimes see women at the swimming pool wearing shorts in the water.

Finally, and perhaps the most disturbing, is one where women drink a herbal drink to dry them out below, so that sex is painful and they don't enjoy it. I kind of thought this would be a little unpleasant for both concerned, but, uh..? It's likely a Christian thing you'd have thought, sounded kind of Muslim too, in the extremist 'women must be punished' mindframe. Not sure where it originates from. This, i'd assume, is a minority custom rather than a national one?

Anyway, totally digressing from the point here...

I also met the Chair of the Burundian Association of the Deaf today, who's a top bloke indeed. I've been invited down to visit them and would love to go, but I'm not allowed. It's VSO policy that Burundi and the Congo are out of bounds, repatriateable offence.

Burundi is in an even worse state than us for sign language and Deaf rights. They're looking to us like we're looking to Uganda. I'd be fascinated to go see. Will talk to VSO and see how definite the 'no' is. I heard before that you could fly into the capital and back, but dunno. There was a sad case a few years back where a VSO ignored the warning and took a bus there with her Burundian fiancé to visit his family. The bus was hijacked en route by Hutu militia and everyone on board was shot. Charlotte Wilson was her name.

If a no is a no it's a no.

But, naturally, the head of a visiting Association can't go anywhere without his interpreter ;) So, yeah, I had a great day. Still getting used to pronouncing his name. Names here are many and varied, and often hard to pronounce! We kind of loitered and chatted outside towards the end of the day, just daft stuff, like the two things I know how to say in French are 'where is the tourist information office' and that line from Lady Marmalade - ahem. That was funny. He suggested (tongue-in-cheek) I needed to go to Uganda and get some culture. It's a bit of a joke about the Ugandans amongst muzungus (and many Africans too) because it's custom there that women are subservient to men. Any time a woman meets a man, asks something, or receives something, she has to kneel before him. I told him my mother would never allow me.

He's got a cool sense of humour. If I can't visit Burundi, we're talking about going on a group trip up to Uganda to nose around their school for interpreters. He really wants to study there. I'm kind of curious myself. It would be amazing to set up a training scheme with them, with a view to founding our own school of interpreting here.

So, despite the phone, it's been a fun day. Nice when the office is full of life. Love my colleagues, they're pretty cool. I know I'm more settled in myself. Francois said I was grumpy last year, but this year I'm all smiles - he's right. I was too fixed on what I thought the job was about before, and trying to achieve things and find my place in the organisation. Now I'm chilled, relaxed, and so laid-back I'm about to become horizontal. It's a much nicer pace of life and things are drifting forward as they should.