:'(((

Mao

Horrible, horrible day. The vet brought the day forward for the kitten's snip so, this morning, I got them all together and put them in their baskets. Luckily, I found the taxi driver that took me last time when Shue was ill.

We got there - by this time Shue had managed to get out of his basket - and got them into the room. Shue befittingly gave me a smack in the face trying to escape, drew blood :(

There was a Belgian lady just leaving with her kitten. I had to hold the two boys for their injections, then they put them in cages. Shue threw up his dinner from last night. They were just going to let him fall asleep in his own sick! I told them to move him and they hauled him up by the scruff of his neck, so I told them to put their arm under him, all the time getting more upset by what I was seeing. Little Mao was nose-down on the floor of his cage, blowing bubbles of snot. I just couldn't hold it together. The Belgian lady saying "Oh, it's your first time," didn't really help. It's only the sort of thing you get done once.

I got back in the taxi and cried all the way home. The taxi driver thinks I'm mad, but he's used to seeing me in tears. People here don't get upset over animals - it's not an animal loving nation. Hannah's guard found a puppy in the garden once. He beat it to death with a plank of wood and left it in the garbage.

I just feel so utterly guilty. I know it has to be done, but they're so small and so trusting. They'd follow me anywhere and I've done that to them. I'm trying to pull myself together with a hot cup of sweet tea.

I just don't trust the vet at all now, not after seeing that. Jo told me that when Kabibi was ill another vet came to look at him, took his temperature, then wiped the thermometer clean on Kabibi's fur!

I'm so worried about them. Especially Sula, who has to undergo a full hour-long operation. I just can't wait to get them home and look after them. Jo says she might be able to come over later to offer moral support. This is just so awful.

:'o((