Somewhere Dark to Crawl Into

Colourful Nyamirambo Shops

 

Ugh. I've had enough.

It's just gone midnight, marking the dawn of a very long week ahead, and right now I don't feel as though I have the stamina.

Nice long weekend. Went to Nyamirambo on Saturday morning and met up with Martine, Berta (an Australian vol), Merisa and Paula. Merisa didn't stay long as VSO have mucked up the pay a little and basically no one has been paid yet. The rest of us trawled the main high street of Nyamy and went into all the shops. I'd been through on motos often enough, to get to Martine's, but never actually wandered through on foot. It was really nice to do it together and have a brows. It's the Muslim quarter and the part of Kigali which never sleeps - full of clothes shops and hair salons, none of which we could afford ;)

Today I've just been slobbing out and eating chocolate that came in the parcels. I hadn’t eaten it for so long that it made me feel sick! Weird. Have to beat the body back into submission.

I usually go swimming on Sundays now, but it's been p'ing it down most of the day. Mainly, work and home are dysfunctional, so my whole body hurts with the thought of dealing with anything right now. Overload.

Had a massive blazing row with D after I found out he's been lending more of my stuff to his friends without having the courtesy to ask me. He doesn't see what the problem is or why I'm 'being like this'. I'm just so fecked off with him right now it isn't even on the scale. I was literally shaking with anger when we were through. It's very difficult because I have nowhere to escape to, what with him living here. Which I did to myself, so no sympathy. He will be gone very, very soon.

*deep breath* Hating the thought of tomorrow. My colleague dropped off a photocopy of our bank balance, which I asked for last week. He put it under the door on Friday night. Literally, I could cry. I asked for a balance sheet showing everything going in and coming out since VSO's last payment, so that I could check our last financial report against that they've calculated should be there. Just because it's hard to get receipts here a lot of the time. This is literally a few scribbled numbers on a sheet. There is no discernible transaction recording going on. The figures probably tally, but if I wanted to know what was paid in, or what the money was taken out to be used for... You could just weep. 

So, on top of setting up a basic filing system for our office this week, and a travel fund reporting system, I also have to set up a fundamentally obvious accounting system, and do all of this with a guy who recently explained to me that he doesn't understand my English. He writes reports in English, but apparently doesn't understand me, even when I draw pictures. I never knew this before because he's always smiled and said 'yes' when I asked if I had explained clearly. Where I go from here, I'm not sure. I foresee real problems, as I've now realised there is absolutely no administrative system in the office what so ever. The guy responsible for setting one up isn't enthusiastic.

I honestly would relish the challenge if it was the only thing on my mind right now. I just really wish, for once, I could say something - just one thing in the office - and people say 'hey, that makes sense, let’s do it that way' and then actually, really, do it. I suggested training the committee: the Treasurer in basic finance reporting, the Secretary in basic administration - but no one wants to do it. When our reports end up as awful as the last one, I'm the one who looks bad because I'm there to help sort out the mess. All I see ahead is more mess, and I can't see where to start because I don't think anyone (or the one, sole, single other person in the office) will follow up on it.

I'm hating the thought of Monday.

The sole thing I'm looking forward to right now is Wednesday, when Rose comes over to learn how to use the computer. Hopefully she's also going to start teaching me some Kinya. She is the one very capable person I can think of right now. I'm actually looking forward to setting up an accounting system with her, and going to talk to the bank about an account, because I know it'll get done efficiently. If I can just get one thing to happen this week I'll be happy again. I desperately need an achievement - it feels like I've been walking uphill for the past few weeks and I just want somebody else to take over for a while.

Of course that's the stress of home, too. Everyone else seems to be having a shite time - Cathryn, Martine and so on. Must be planetary. I just can't get motivated about anything right now.

I've supposedly got someone from Electrogaz coming at 8am tomorrow morning. I'll believe it when I see it. I just don't think I can deal with the bastards again. I've still got this whopping, ridiculous bill hanging over me. It's this attitude that customers must be wrong, and how dare they object, that really stinks about the whole thing.

But, enough about them. They've taken up too much eye space so far.

Enough with it all, really. I've had three days off and all I can feel are my shoulders which, are like bricks. How the hell can that be!? Too much chocolate and no exercise today is partly to blame, I reckon.

Bumped into Regis earlier, over by the shop. He was just on his way back from the gym and is going to help me find one. I still haven't managed to get to Alpha Palace yet to check out the prices. I just feel like I need to take up kickboxing or something before my head explodes. I  have got to release some of this steam constructively before I snap at someone I really mustn't.

My list of things to do tomorrow:

• Deal with prat from Electrogaz.
• Go to VSO and try once again to print out the sodding IT report, electricity withstanding.
• Go to Fountain Press and see if they have a quote for the Sign Language Dictionary, so that I can start rewriting our VSO application budget.
• Go to the office and have a serious talk to my colleague about why we need an accounting system and how best to set one up.
• See if colleague has managed to buy files - if so, start a basic filing system.
• Go through the system for recording transport money in Excel with said colleague.
• Check that Martine has the bail money covered for when I get arrested for GBH nutting the Electrogaz guy and throwing the office computer through the window.

Watch this space... We shall see what, if anything, gets achieved from that list by this time tomorrow.

However, I did tune out quite happily for a while tonight by watching Elizabeth: the Golden Age, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Love it. Now there was a lady who could have handled volunteering with her eyes closed.

Also, just seen the news on the Beeb website about the troubles in Mongolia and wondering whether VSO are evacuating there? Something to check.